Take a moment to think about all the times you were not pleasant. All is extreme, think of one, just one. Now think of the reason behind that unpleasant reaction and reason behind that reason. I will go first, throughout my teenage years I was occasionally described as rude. I remember a boy called Douglas in my senior year telling the whole class while giving his final remarks that he had failed to understand me and he still wondered why I was so rude! Ouch.

See, I was a very angry teenager with bottled up anger from early childhood years. I was so sensitive and soft inside. Every little thing not only upset me but brought me to tears, now I believe my system was clogged so it took any chance to breathe leaving my eyes sweating. I acted tough and rude as a defense mechanism to protect my very fragile inside that was in shambles. It worked, it took people who saw beyond my defense mechanism to be my friends and most are still very good friends until today but I hurt so many people while I was hurting.

Here is the funny thing….

I was a people pleaser at the same time as I was rude teenager. Actually, to be honest, people pleasing is still something that I deal with today but that is a story for another day. I was hell bent on pleasing the few people that I let in, I wanted them to like me, I was very scared of loosing any of them and therefore I went above and beyond for them at my expense. I run errands, let go of personal precious items, went to places and did things I knew were against my belief system just to be liked. Now I know what I really wanted was recognition, I needed to be seen, I needed to know that I matter.

Here is my point,

Let us strive to ask ourselves the reason behind an action when someone hurts our feelings. Before someone got angry, another person did and another before that. This understanding not only makes us more empathic but also improves on our emotional wellbeing. I implore you to be kinder to a person you consider the most unpleasant because they are dealing with a lot. Let us use kindness to light up the world.

I would like to hear your story…

Let me know in the comments and do not forget to turn on notifications of follow up comments.

Warm Hugs, Rebecca.

Make up Your Face by Hannah

Photography Zahara Abdul